5 ways to succeed at "Sober October" this year
October is here and with that you might have seen or heard of “sober October”. Why October? Well it rhymes so its easy to remember, but the truth is any month is a good month to get sober if you’re struggling with your relationship with drugs and alcohol, or if you just need a break to get enough distance from drugs and alcohol to assess your use. Chances are if you are considering “Sober October”, then you could use a 30 day break from your drugs of choice.
Getting a 30 day sobriety streak is no small feat though, especially if you are a chronic user or if it's been a long time since you’ve taken a break. The benefits of this break are many. When you get 30 days of sobriety you see more clearly the effects of the drugs and alcohol on your life. If you are a chronic user, sometimes it takes this long or even longer to feel what true sobriety feels like without dealing with the after effects or longer term withdrawals. When you have that reference point of true sobriety, you can more clearly see the effects of your use on your daily life.
Here are 5 ways to successfully get through a sober October:
1) Get rid of your stash
The simplest way to not use is to not have access to your drug of choice. What most people do when they try to quit a drug or alcohol is they rely on pure willpower to push them through the cravings, withdrawals, and bad days. The reality is that willpower will wax and wane, there will always be moments of weakness, especially in the first 30 days. So, relying on willpower alone is setting yourself up for failure. Instead, you need to actually remove the drugs and alcohol from your home and otherwise reduce your access to them, so that in your moments of weakness there are no temptations that are easy to fall back into.
2) Go to support meetings
Many people want to get sober, but very few want to put in the work to get there. The reality is that trying to do this alone is much more difficult than reaching out to community for support. People have all sorts of objections for why they don’t like support groups, but the reality is that one of the most effective ways to stay sober is to involve yourself in a group of like-minded individuals who have your back. A few places to start are: Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Smart Recovery, Life Ring, and Dharma Recovery. Try a meeting out, you don’t have to like it, you just have to go.
3) Get clear on why you are doing this
I wrote a bit in the intro to this article about the benefits of taking a 30 day sobriety break, but everyone has their own reasons, and if your reason for quitting or taking a break isn’t rock solid, its going to be easy to go back on your word and not follow through. Usually, if you’re considering taking a break, you’ve had some thoughts or feelings about why this is something you need to do. For many people, they get clear on why they need to stop, but then they change their mind and decide to use again. To improve your chances of success, try writing down the biggest benefits of sobriety and biggest costs of using drugs and alcohol when you are a clear about your reasons. Then, when your confidence is failing you, look back at this list for a boost in motivation and a reminder why you are doing this in the first place.
4) Fill your time with other activities
You can’t just take something away from your life without filling it with something else. If you are chronically using drugs or alcohol, chances are its serving a purpose in your life. Maybe you’re doing it for fun, or maybe its to self medicate some untreated depression or anxiety. Whatever it is, there is a reason why you are turning to drugs and alcohol, and if you take them away there will be a void left in your life. It is important that you fill that void with another, sober, positive activity in your life. For some people it could be exercise, being in nature, reading, therapy, meditation, or yoga. Whatever it is, find some activity to add into your life so you’re not just taking away drugs and alcohol without replacing them with something positive in your life.
5) Talk to a therapist
If you’re struggling with your relationship with drugs and alcohol, chances are there are some deeper reasons why you are in this dynamic in the first place. Getting sober for 30 days is just the beginning. In therapy you can explore the underlying root causes of your drug and alcohol use and get clear on what steps you need to take long term to fix the root of the problem. For many people, drugs and alcohol are a way to medicate deeper emotional wounds. Taking care of those wounds in therapy is a great way to improve your overall mental wellbeing and your relationship with drugs and alcohol.
If you are needing support, feel free to reach out. Pacific Psychotherapy with Connor Moss offers drug and alcohol counseling in person at my office in Soquel (Santa Cruz), and online anywhere in California. I offer free 15-minute consultation calls so I can hear more about your situation and whether or not I’m a good fit to help you. Reach out today, I’d be happy to chat.