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Is your life feeling dull or meaningless?
Do you often feel discouraged about your future?
Do you feel like you don’t measure up to who you wish you were?
Do things you used to enjoy not bring you much pleasure anymore?
Are you having trouble eating, sleeping, or functioning on a basic level in your daily life?
Many of the people I work with come to me experiencing a fundamental dissatisfaction with their lives. If you’re struggling with depression, you know what it's like to feel like life has become a chore with few happy moments left to look forward to. You understand how hard it can be to carry on in life in a normal way when inside you are secretly suffering every day.
If you have responsibilities to uphold in your life, as we all do, you may find that what used to feel like a manageable workload now feels completely overwhelming. You might blame yourself for how you feel, always feeling guilty for not living up to others expectations, or to your expectations of yourself. You might feel like you are walking around with a thousand pound weight strapped to your back.
You might notice you have a much shorter fuse and find yourself easily irritable and snapping at loved ones. Maybe you’ve noticed problems with your appetite or sleep; eating too much or too little, or having trouble sleeping but always feeling fatigued during the day. Sex can all of a sudden feel uninteresting or unappealing. Maybe you are very down on yourself and have low self esteem and low self confidence.
If you suffer from serious depression, you might have even had thoughts or ideations of suicide or of self harm. Or maybe you aren’t sure if what you have is that serious, wondering if you “qualify” to be labeled as depressed, but you know something doesn't feel right.
Either way, if you have clinical depression, or something just feels “off”, living life under the cloud of sadness, guilt, irritability, and low self esteem is incredibly difficult and trying for anyone.
“A big part of depression is feeling really lonely, even if you’re in a room full of a million people”
- Lilly Singh
You aren’t alone
If you suffer from depression you are one of millions of people around the world who are struggling in the same way as you. Unfortunately, depression is incredibly common. Many people find themselves at some point in their lives in a place where the joy they once felt in life has faded.
A recent 2019 study found that almost 8% of all adults in the United States had experienced at least one major depressive episode in the past year, which equates to almost 20 million people (1). Of those 20 million, approximately 2/3rds sought treatment (1).
Treatment for depression is not something to delay or feel ashamed about. Depression is unfortunately very common, and getting help for it is important and not a sign of weakness. Sometimes when people experience depression the associated guilt, low self esteem, and general negative outlook on life can keep people from reaching out for help for longer than they should. Know that if you are struggling in your life with depression or what just feels like a low or “off” mood, you are not alone in your struggle, and reaching out for help is an important aspect of your self care.
Depression therapy can help you start to regain your old self
Talking to a professional can help you navigate and alleviate your depression symptoms. In depression therapy we will take the time to explore all the feelings you are struggling with. Having a neutral third party to share your experience with can help you unpack what is going on inside your head and in your life. Many people remark that simply by sharing what’s going on with them and their depression they start to feel better. Something fundamentally important and nourishing happens when we are able to share our story to a compassionate person who will genuinely listen, empathize, and take your story seriously. The first step in depression therapy is to get what’s in your head out and to share it by speaking it out loud. This first step may seem simple, but a great deal of healing can happen when we get the opportunity to speak our truths and have someone truly listen and take our struggle seriously.
Depression is a symptom that is manifesting in your life, but almost always there is a deeper root cause underlying depressive feelings. In depression therapy we will explore and uncover what influences in your life may be contributing to a depressive episode. Though we won’t spend the entire time in therapy talking about the past, often early childhood experiences have an inordinate effect on how we form relationships and meaning throughout the rest of our lives. Therefore a thorough and compassionate exploration of your past is often an important aspect of a successful depression treatment. Uncovering the past can be painful, and sometimes we find uncomfortable or traumatic experiences in our past that we’d rather not look at. When we are able to share about our past and release old hurts, it can alleviate the pressures and mysterious ailments we experience in our everyday lives. Depression therapy with a compassionate and thoughtful therapist can have a great positive impact on how we view our past and therefore how we live our lives in the present.
“Grief is depression in proportion to circumstance; depression is grief out of proportion to circumstance”
- Andrew Solomon
Maybe you’re still not sure if depression therapy is right for you…
“What if I’m not depressed enough to go to therapy?”
Many people tend to doubt their own suffering. Although stigmas are lessening about mental health treatment, you might still feel reluctant to seek therapy and wonder if your situation is “bad enough” to talk to a therapist. You may be downplaying how bad things are to keep from dealing with the hassle of getting help. Although depression therapy can help many people, it also can be difficult and uncomfortable to get to the bottom of your problems and finally deal with things. Many people who come to me say they’ve known for a long time that there are things they should probably talk about, but they’ve resisted it for a long time. Even if your problems are not objectively “that bad”, the process of talking through your inner life in a compassionate and supportive container can have a whole host of positive benefits. So if you are avoiding your problems or feel you have to be suffering terribly before reaching out, know that the support of a compassionate therapist is possible and that you deserve to feel supported and heard in your life.
“Will therapy really help?”
If you are suffering from Depression then it is very common to feel hopeless and like nothing can ever change about your situation. Therapy has been shown by several studies to improve depression symptoms (1) (2) (3). Talking about your problems with a compassionate professional can help you change the way you look at yourself and your place in the world, and can help you understand more clearly what resources and action steps in your life might help your depression symptoms. While in depression it can feel like nothing can ever change, but getting help is the first step towards shifting that narrative and overcoming depression in your life.
“I’m afraid a therapist will be judgmental or will push me to talk about things I’m not ready to talk about”
Therapists are trained to be neutral, compassionate and supportive in the face of any experience you might be going through. This means it is my job to understand fully where you are at in your mental health journey and support you in your process. In depression treatment your therapist will try to understand you and support you on your terms, without injecting their own opinions or biases on what you should be doing with your life. A good therapist will withhold their own judgement and agenda and try to understand and support you with where you want to be in life.
The support you need is out there
Reach out today to schedule a free, no obligation 15-minute consultation call. I’m happy to chat and answer any questions you have about therapy. We can set up an initial appointment after that if it feels like a good fit. I offer therapy for depression in-person in Santa Cruz, and online anywhere in California.
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